After I moved back to Chicago this summer, I debated yoga teaching training. I had been toying with the idea for years and I thought I would need a distraction from the serious shit that went down in Seattle. To keep myself from crawling into a bottle and waking up at 40, horribly hung over, I needed a plan. While being barely employed and still living on friends’ couch with boxes piled in their hallway, I bought a class package at my favorite yoga studio and thought, “Well, let’s see if I want to commit to this.”
After a few classes, “Nope.”
The pace was too slow for my frantic mind. There was too much other stuff in my life going on (essential stuff, like “buy a bed”, “find a job” and “stop thinking ‘Did this shit really happen?’ over and over again) to focus on something that would become a hobby and also, it was too expensive. Mind boggling expensive.
Instead, I put my head down and worked and kept myself out of the bars and bought cute shit for my apartment and took care of myself, physically and emotionally, and now only occasionally think ‘Did that shit really happen?’.
At the beginning of one of those classes, there was a mediatation that’s been stuck in my head for the last few months. I’ll probably butcher it, but it basically went like this:
With eyes closed and seated, the instructor told us, “Imagine someone you love. May they have love, may they have peace, may they be well.”
“Now imagine someone you hate. May they have love, may they have peace, may they be well.”
“Picture someone you haven’t seen in a long time. May they have love, may they have peace, may they be well.”
“Think of someone you see on a daily basis, but you don’t know them. A fellow commuter, the barista at your favorite coffee shop. May they have love, may they have peace, may they be well.”
“Think of a stranger you saw today that you’ve never seen before, maybe on the way to class today. May they have love, may they have peace, may they be well.”
“Finally, think of a crowded street. May they have love, may they have peace, may they be well.”
November is National Write A Novel Month. The goal is to write 50,000 words. I made an attempt last year, but I didn’t make it. Things were starting to crumble then. I’m going to try again this November, which is next week. I’m going to use this blog. This’ll be my distraction and my coping mechanism. For now, this is my plan.
In that meditation, the person I loved and the person I hated was the same person. May they have love, may they have peace, may they be well.